Growing up, when I did something wrong (and got caught), punishment was swift and serious. My mom handed out “grounded” sentences in two-week increments. During times I was serving a sentence as an older child my mom was like a prison warden. She took the phone with her to work (before cell phones) so I couldn’t talk on the phone, which was forbidden. She would even feel the back of the TV to check if the tubes were warm when I wasn’t allowed to watch.
Here’s what I learned from this:
1) I hated getting caught.
2) I resented authority figures.
3) It was the punisher’s fault I was in trouble.
As I look at and develop my own classroom management pedagogy I want students to take responsibility and ownership of their behaviors and the consequences that behavior accrues. It’s easy to punish for misbehavior, it’s not as easy to teach students to choose the right behavior on their own. Spending more time leading instruction in my placement has been a great exercise for me in exploring my personal style of classroom management. At the same time, my 6th grade students are exploring my limits and testing me as I move into the role of a more full time teacher. One day I asked the class to return to their seats for a routine transition at the end of the day. For a full minute (or eternity) more than half the classroom seemingly ignored me and carried on with their (loud) conversations. I felt powerless, and I felt like the students were pushing back. I knew that I didn’t want to use the volume of my voice to yell the students into submission, but I had to get them to where they needed to be…quietly in their seats. I did the first thing I thought of that I knew would get results. I told them (loudly) that every minute they took to get in their seats quietly with their planners out would be a minute they owed me at recess! It worked, they couldn’t back to their seats fast enough, I won.
But then why do I feel like I failed? My students should hear my directions and exclaim, “Absolutely our fearless leader! We know you know best…and we will follow!!” I shouldn’t have to threaten my beloved students to get them to do what is expected. After much reflecting, reading, and discussing with my CT, I’ve decided that I have a lot of practicing to do. However, I know how and what I want to practice. Positive discipline takes more time and more thought, but in the end the students are taking responsibility for their own behavior. Some of the tools I’m practicing are: going to the doc cam and quietly writing down the names of students who are on task, the class quickly figures out why I’m putting names up and want to be involved (bonus* they’re critically thinking, not taking orders); not calling minor personal misbehavior out in front of the class, instead, waiting for a moment alone with the student to name the behavior seen and then discuss the consequences for that misbehavior (which won’t be a surprise to the student because the class rules and expectations will be crystal clear); and approaching students with kindness and caring, because I don’t want my students to feel like it’s me against them (may the best (wo)man win). I want them to know that I care and that I’m there for them in whatever way I can best support their learning and their overall well-being.
Learning to Teach 
I read here that you’re thinking of your leadership in the classroom as part of a much larger commitment to your students’ learning and growth. You do have the moral authority to make sure that everyone can learn (and as you say so beautifully, not just to be sure that you “win”). I look forward to reading more as this sort of careful reflection takes you further into this work.